It's been 4 years since I lost my dad. 4 years ago I threw away 9 years of recovery and relapsed, almost died 9 months in. I have been clean for a while again but now I am sober too, from alcohol. My first time ever cleaning up my act without a court order. I'm very proud of myself. Almost 12 days no alcohol or anything. I will make it through this shitty day and stay sober.