felt a real wave of grief today, out of nowhere. just thinking about all the time I lost, all the moments I wasn't really there for. and the people I hurt, even unintentionally. it's a heavy feeling and sometimes it just hits different even though I've processed a lot of it. it's a tough reminder of what brought me here, but also a motivator to keep moving forward. to make sure those feelings serve a purpose, you know. to live differently now. it's hard but also kinda beautiful in a way, being able to feel it all now.