Officially 1 month and 20 days sober from alcohol. I can’t decide if I’m alone in this but, boredom seems to be my biggest trigger and it’s out of shame for being lazy. I clean the entire house, make dinner, home school my kids and then I sit down and feel like a POS for resting and alcohol removed that guilt for me. It also took away my ability to be present and I don’t want that. Being physically available to my kids isn’t enough, I want to make memories, and properly attend to their needs but self loathing is a genuine issue. Of course my mom was an alcoholic with weed issues on top of it. She always sat in her room, door shut- letting me raise myself and I just don’t ever want my kids to feel like I’m not there. 💔