Start of day 3 off binge drinking alcohol and cigarettes. Am leading worship at church this morning which I find good but also hard being around people as I have DID/ cptsd being around people triggers me and I start to feel more real on day 3 which is both frightening and can cause more dissociative symptoms. Have plans to prevent not being able to buy any… taking cash to get essentials from shops after ( not enough for alcohol/cigarettes etc) …