I have never really given being sober a real try. I’ve had many moments in my life where I realize that alcohol is the root cause behind all the problems in my life and yet I continue to abuse it. I just don’t know how to stop once I start, it feels like I have no control over it even though logically I know I do and I should. I black out and I become someone else. I say things I’d never say sober and I’ve put my partner through so much turmoil from my anger. It’s a horrible feeling to wake up and not know what happened and realize you spent the night yelling at a person you love. I want to change for myself, but mostly because he deserves so much better. I’m so scared I’ve lost him now