Something really bad happened, I'm gonna be honest since nobody knows who I am here.. (I am a girl, just so you know) I don't even know if I can still call myself clean off drugs.. my "(male) best friend" used me and forced me to do things I didn't want to do. I was still in love with my ex and didn't want to deal with any other boy like romantically.. but he still did it and the worst thing.. he was the boyfriend of my best (female) friend and he is one of the good friends of my ex.. so that makes it much worse, I tried to keep it a secret, because how the f should I tell something like that to my best (female) friend and the person I was still in love with? I couldn't take it any longer because after this all I could think off was druggs, to make me feel numb, like nothing happened.. I craved so hard that I crushed up paracetamol and used that instead of coke.. because I wanted to stay clean, but I needed something.. I also began to drink a lot more in the weekends untill I get a black out and don't remember falling and waking up with bruises and serious wounds on my legs and knee.. So I had to tell my (female) friend about what happened, now almost everyone knows and nobody believes my side of the story and I'm affraid that I lost everyone because of this. Even the guy I'm still in love with, is mad at me and even deleted me on snapchat, because he doesn't believe me. So I have to go through this all by myself and I'm terribly suffering. Haven't eat well in days, already lost 5kg this weekend. I already was anemic and it's getting worse, all I can do is sleep, work, cry and repeat.. I don't know what to do anymore...